Halfway.

What is worse than feeling guilty about doing something is not feeling anything about it at all. Knowing perfectly in your head how wrong something is and still doing it and not even being bitten by that fact - it's just as wrong. Believing all the while that you are right where you wished right from the start you will be and then realising halfway you are lost and far from that point makes it easy not even to attempt at being back on track. Unbelievable how so much thrill and eagerness and fire can consume each other up, how all hopes of proving something can just crumble into wishful thinking there is more courage or strength or resistance than euphoria. Excitement is such a quick feeling. Sometimes, the drive to go against the flow is so, too.