Almost like being free.*

I try to fit my head into one of the squares of the kitchen window, throw my stare up, smile. My eyes narrow with the light, my face dries up with the wind. I say wow like a kid in a candy store. This is one of the reasons I thank God for the world.

The sky is in light hues, perhaps just blue and white. But the colors blend and clouds immerse themselves in what seems to be their background, making swirls, making stirs, making more hues. Which is amazing. Because I see no motion, yet I see transformations. I am in the side where the sun casts light that everything is bright. But maybe it takes not just light to see.

And I wish with all my heart and kiddie self, which is half of me, that everything stays this way. That what's above remains as if it shines with its own light, that the sun remains as if no dark clouds can turn its switch off. That I can sit here for how long long will take, undisturbed by Tuesday, just plainly, perfectly at peace. Without reveries, without dreams, without plans. Without sense of later or tomorrow. I will not mind chills or wind burn, I swear.

I am not tempted to say things are pretty because a long time ago I saw only fraction. Beauty is never divided, it is seen wholly or not seen at all. I sit here in awe and excitement and this is in itself a blessing. I don't need to compare.

In a time like this, when I feel no attachment at all to anyone or anything, one person comes to mind. That very moment I looked up, I tried to change the ground. On the other side of the earth, where there are flamingos and beaches I've never seen, that's where we all were. Never mind what smart people say. Never mind that I've never really seen what I talk about aside from pictures with messages at the back. Someday. One day.

Light is fading now, the clouds thick and gray, the breeze colder. Life calls out and I leave my quick trip away from reality. But every joy and hope, I keep them all.

*From Matchbox 20's You Won't Be Mine.