Maybe someday I will not hold back. Maybe someday I will feel without fear, without thinking at the back of my head that when I step back and look at the bigger picture I know for a fact that things will not work out; that when I step back and look into the future I know for a fact that we are not there. Maybe someday it will feel right, and that God factor I find in the hopes I have that the Lord nods to will be there too - in the little things I notice, in the flick of the hand or the tone of the voice, in the things that show the heart, in the things that reflect the past, in the things that hope for a future, and everything in between those two periods of time. Maybe I will see myself in that in-between. Maybe I will see myself past it too. Maybe we will both see.
Maybe I will learn from the mistakes of others. Maybe I am learning. Maybe it is a grand blessing that I am able to see without experiencing, that I see pain without hurting or favor without needing it. I probably need to be careful to remember, to someday look back to these times right before I find myself in the same circumstances. Maybe the Lord is strengthening me up but sparing me as well. Afterall I know that the Lord is moulding me day by day.
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