More than fine.*

You asked if I hadn't gotten used to it yet. I said I didn't want to. I don't know if I could if I wanted to, if I could stomach things I've been raised up being averse to. I understand your point, you just want me to accept things so life would be easier for me. But I do accept things - for now. You think pain is just a matter of time and enough familiarity. But you see, I don't think you understand. You don't understand why this is all pain in the first place, that this goes deeper than discomfort and inconvenience. You don't understand how I defend who I am, whom my parents brought up, Whose child I claim to be. You don't understand that as I try to put myself on the side and do everything only for Who's above me, there is also a constant need to somehow prove myself, to do well under watchful eyes and break free from belittling stares. You don't understand how much patience and endurance it takes to let go what could be let go, how much self-control it takes to stay calm as I insist and stand up for what I believe I deserve. Because you see, though I accept for now what you say I should've already gotten used to, I don't believe it is what really is for me. It is a phase, it is temporary. Perhaps I need it to be wiser and stronger and altogether better, but it is not for life, not even for what while you might have in mind. You don't understand that it is faith I try to keep and prove that I have.

You don't understand. But actually, I don't expect you to.

*Switchfoot's song.