Hopeful.

Sometimes, it's just so hard to understand everything that's happening. It's like the whole universe is conspiring to mess up my head. Just when life seems okay, just when plans are laid out and good already, a wrong or two enters the picture. And suddenly it's so hard to fix what was just perfect. Suddenly nothings seems in the right place. Suddenly, the biggest dreams, those that have been so carefully built with time, seem so impossible and far. When actually, it is just the right moment to reach them, to be a little confident that time is the only distance to run.

But then again, who am I to make the final plans. I am not even sure of what is best. I can only make attempts at knowing, and pray that it is what I will find in the future. And if what I guess to be best is not what the future reveals, and if this early my hypotheses already are shaky, then all I can do is trust and wait and hold on to my faith. Perhaps just as it is not for me to question, there are times when it's not for me to understand. Maybe not just yet. Maybe what seems chaos is the perfect path to take.

I am still hopeful. I am still inspired. I take comfort in the words of my mom, thank God for the wisdom He gives. I find hope in the words of God, thank God for His promises. But more than hope, assurance. I know I will not be let down.

The smallest failures can challenge dreams. The most basic questions can instill uncertainty. The tiniest tragedies can define future. I will not let them.