Keeping the core.

You don't miss your water till the well runs dry, they say.

***

But nobody is complaining here. A lot has been vented, and so many rants have been made. None of those mean that there is no happiness and excitement and enjoyment right now. It's just that sometimes the most compelling emotions are the painful ones. It's just that the most beautiful part of a previous phase seem completely absent in the next one. It's just that, though this does not outweigh what new joy there is now, from one aspect, it is so utterly disappointing.

And so I carry on. And I try hard to keep what I have been made into after four years by giving it to the hands that should keep it.