Sometimes I wonder if there will ever be healing for me; if there will really come a time when I can look back and remember all the bad in the past without feeling all the rage and pain like I am reliving the memories. I wonder if I can ever recover from the trauma. I wonder if I can truly move on and not feel everyday that I am constantly being changed by what I've gone through. I wonder if I can really forget.
I wonder when I can thank the Lord that life is unfair. I wonder when I will not cry whenever I realise that the things that haunt me are all pieces of tragedies in the past, fragments of horrors that try to create monsters today. I wonder when I can finally say that it is not exactly sad that I have endured a little more pain, known a little more fear, felt a little more angst than everybody else because all that has made me stronger.
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