No tragedies.

I've been waiting for the right moment to write, the right urge, the right things to talk about. I've been waiting for when I can finally spread five months or so in front of me and say, hey, it isn't so bad. And when I wouldn't have to say that I don't know then explain that I just refuse to try to weigh chances because it feels like the things that I want seem too difficult to happen. But really, I've been waiting too long.

And so it hits me now that maybe whatever time and feeling I've been wanting, I need not wait for at all. Or that what I've really been anticipating is the same finger that stirs my life until everything is in a routine of chaos. Whichever way, it's high time I do my part in killing all these drama. But above all that, the limbo.

So I say now, it is bad. It cuts through because it starts out right and becomes wrong somewhere I can't trace. I know the chances - they're way low. And though I am tempted to say that I am still hoping for a little surprise despite the odds, this is the part I turn the tables around. I can't say I already do, but I'm trying to give it all up. I don't really know what to hope for anymore, but I'm trying to remind myself again that whatever I'm given is what's right. Because if it's allowed to happen, it's part of the plan. And the plan needs no improvement, it's the best. And so there are no tragedies. I just need to know You know better. Or believe.