Who will guard the guards?

It's been a while since I last wrote a post, but right now I still can't think of anything to ponder on. No disturbance, no complaint, no confusion. Everything has been falling into the right places. But maybe that's where I should pick up on.

But what is there to explain in order but contentment and gratitude? Plain peace that the tiniest troubles in my head are settled, and the biggest storms in my life are calmed. That what used to scare and break me is now just a memory. That even the smallest worries I have are important and taken care of already, my shortest prayers heard and answered. That if only I give all my plans up to that which I may not know yet but have faith in that it's best for me, then everything will work out perfectly.

I don't expect perfect to stretch out. I think I'm actually not supposed to. There is no calm to feel without the storm, after all. And I don't think it's just faith I've been trying to be taught about more of, but also thinking outside myself. Sacrificing little comforts, which is hard because these are the things that make everyday a lot easier to get by, for the huge difference it can make for more than one. Interesting that when I get to somewhere better than where I was, I tend to think what that tells me is never to go back to anything less. But right now I see that maybe moving forward is not just about going farther all the time. It's also knowing how tough it is through what's behind, and not being scared to get back there.

Yay for my birthday month's good start. :)