Heartaches.

Feeling stupid is not felt when you don't know anything at all. You feel like a pea brain when all the while you've acted like a know-all, because that's how you thought you were, but suddenly someone slaps it to your face that things are not what you think they are. That the thought that everything is fine is one big illusion. That what you've embraced and loved for such a long time are all lies.

And then usual loses sense. You don't know what to do anymore, because you're scared to be laughed at again. Because what you do might be the same things. And the same things will take you to the same crazy moment. But what will be the surprise?

Rage, you want to say. No, you want to scream. Rage, not guilt. Because how can you feel guilt when everything seems made up? The situation is set up for you and you have no control. You can only say things according to how they were asked. Suddenly you're part of the lie. And you're forced to believe that the lies you claim to be so are truth.

The next day you all act like nothing really happened. But at the back of your head, everything's changed.