Again.

At one point I wished so hard he'd send me a message that everything was just a big joke. I won't probably care if I felt like the biggest dupe as long as I'd be assured nothing was wrong. But, though messages kept on coming, they only moved me closer and closer to what the situation was. And it was hard to swallow. These days I've been feeling like a vacuum. But right now I am full to the brim. Of what, I cannot describe exactly. Maybe of sadness. Of pity. Of hope.

I have probably been in a similar position. You know, almost losing someone you hold so close to your heart. It happens without warning. Suddenly you feel so lost and you don't know what to think anymore. People ask questions like you don't get hurt. You try a whole new life, trying hard to accept the possibility that you can never have your old life back.

But He never allows anything to happen without reason. I'm glad he chooses to stick with the Guy. That he sees everything with gratitude and hope. That he bravely refuses to dwell in tragedy. That he doesn't seem to compare what he has lost to what he still has. For all that, I take my hat off.

Everything I felt was summed up to that tiny stream lining my right eye. As I pushed my head on the pillow a drop contained it all, fell, and only left me with a prayer full of everything good I could think of.